Working With Fools

Avoiding Workplace Anger's Corrosive Effects

What's Eating You?
Avoid Workplace Anger's Corrosive Effects

by Cheri Swales
Monster Contributing Writer

Mad that you were passed over for a big promotion again? Livid that the bootlickers always seem to get ahead in your organization? Perhaps it's time to consider whether the anger itself, however legitimate, is holding you back. Evidence suggests many of us are walking around the office feeling resentful, though we may be unaware of the cumulative toll bitter actions take on our careers and coworkers.

Workplace anger is not only potentially harmful to the organization, but it can also cause serious health problems, including chronic anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and heart disease. Learning to deal with your anger constructively will improve your well-being and make you a more desirable and promotable employee.

Why Are So Many Employees Angry?
I spoke with 12 employees from a variety of businesses about their anger at work. Each felt that one or more of the following caused the anger:

• Employee was promised a raise, promotion or important project, and it did not happen.
• Employee was told to do something he felt was wrong or incorrect.
• Employee could not live up to a supervisor's expectations, because the expectations were too high or continuously changing.
• Supervisor was a micromanager and criticized employee frequently.
• Employee felt better qualified and skilled than his supervisor.
• Another employee doing the same job made more money.

Sometimes the anger may stem from outside sources. Many times, employees are dealing with stressful events in their own lives, and the resulting anger can carry over to the workplace. Divorce, a death in the family, financial pressure and serious illnesses can all cause an individual to become overwhelmed and irritated. Rarely are we taught to deal with loss and stressful situations, so we tend to bury those feelings, which can turn to anger or rage over time.

Steps to Control Anger Constructively
We all become irritated or angry every now and then. What can we do to control that anger and be more constructive? Donald Gibson of Fairfield University, who cowrote Managing Anger in the Workplace, offers the following strategies for controlling anger:

• Avoid anger as much as possible. This doesn't mean suppress your feelings, but rather improve your outlook on yourself and life so there are fewer situations in which you would become angry.
• Think about your anger and determine if it really makes sense given the situation.
• Control your physical response to anger by doing constructive things, such as exercising, getting enough sleep and avoiding alcohol. The healthier you are, the more likely you are to respond appropriately to situations.
• Let go of unmanageable anger. Many situations will be out of your control, so it is important to let go of this type of anger. Ask yourself, "Can I resolve whatever it is that's causing this anger?" If you can't, then you need to let it go.
• If you feel anger and are having a difficult time dealing with it, see if your company has an employee assistance program (EAP). EAP providers typically allow employees to see therapists in these circumstances. You don't have to live in a state of bitterness, anger or rage. If you deal effectively with your anger, you will increase your chances of being promoted at some point -- and of being an effective leader when the time comes.

When Anger Strikes

• Take several deep breaths.
• Repeat a calming word or phrase in your mind, such as "relax" or "stay calm."
• Slowly count to 10.
• Ask yourself, "How would my favorite leader handle this situation?"
• Avoid tensing up your muscles. As soon as you can, close your eyes and consciously think to unclench your jaw and loosen your muscles.
• Listen to your favorite music.
• When you're feeling angry after you leave work, change clothes as soon as you get home. This simple gesture will help you change your state of mind.

Avoiding Workplace Anger

An article from Monster.com:

Mad that you were passed over for a big promotion again? Livid that the bootlickers always seem to get ahead in your organization? Perhaps it's time to consider whether the anger itself, however legitimate, is holding you back. Evidence suggests many of us are walking around the office feeling resentful, though we may be unaware of the cumulative toll bitter actions take on our careers and coworkers.

Workplace anger is not only potentially harmful to the organization, but it can also cause serious health problems, including chronic anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and heart disease. Learning to deal with your anger constructively will improve your well-being and make you a more desirable and promotable employee.

Why Are So Many Employees Angry?

I spoke with 12 employees from a variety of businesses about their anger at work. Each felt that one or more of the following caused the anger:

• Employee was promised a raise, promotion or important project, and it did not happen.
• Employee was told to do something he felt was wrong or incorrect.
• Employee could not live up to a supervisor's expectations, because the expectations were too high or continuously changing.
• Supervisor was a micromanager and criticized employee frequently.
• Employee felt better qualified and skilled than his supervisor.
• Another employee doing the same job made more money.

Sometimes the anger may stem from outside sources. Many times, employees are dealing with stressful events in their own lives, and the resulting anger can carry over to the workplace. Divorce, a death in the family, financial pressure and serious illnesses can all cause an individual to become overwhelmed and irritated. Rarely are we taught to deal with loss and stressful situations, so we tend to bury those feelings, which can turn to anger or rage over time.

Steps to Control Anger Constructively

We all become irritated or angry every now and then. What can we do to control that anger and be more constructive? Donald Gibson of Fairfield University, who cowrote Managing Anger in the Workplace, offers the following strategies for controlling anger:

• Avoid anger as much as possible. This doesn't mean suppress your feelings, but rather improve your outlook on yourself and life so there are fewer situations in which you would become angry.
• Think about your anger and determine if it really makes sense given the situation.
• Control your physical response to anger by doing constructive things, such as exercising, getting enough sleep and avoiding alcohol. The healthier you are, the more likely you are to respond appropriately to situations.
• Let go of unmanageable anger. Many situations will be out of your control, so it is important to let go of this type of anger. Ask yourself, "Can I resolve whatever it is that's causing this anger?" If you can't, then you need to let it go.
• If you feel anger and are having a difficult time dealing with it, see if your company has an employee assistance program (EAP). EAP providers typically allow employees to see therapists in these circumstances. You don't have to live in a state of bitterness, anger or rage. If you deal effectively with your anger, you will increase your chances of being promoted at some point -- and of being an effective leader when the time comes.

When Anger Strikes

• Take several deep breaths.
• Repeat a calming word or phrase in your mind, such as "relax" or "stay calm."
• Slowly count to 10.
• Ask yourself, "How would my favorite leader handle this situation?"
• Avoid tensing up your muscles. As soon as you can, close your eyes and consciously think to unclench your jaw and loosen your muscles.
• Listen to your favorite music.
• When you're feeling angry after you leave work, change clothes as soon as you get home. This simple gesture will help you change your state of mind.

 

Desktop Rage

Desk rage spoils workplace for many Americans

[-] Text [+]

By Ellen Wulfhorst

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Get out of the way, road rage. Here comes desk rage.

Anger in the workplace -- employees and employers who are grumpy, insulting, short-tempered or worse -- is shockingly common and likely growing as Americans cope with woes of rising costs, job uncertainty or overwhelming debt, experts say.

"It runs the gamut from just rudeness up to pretty extreme abusive behaviors," said Paul Spector, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at the University of South Florida. "The severe cases of fatal violence get a lot of press but in some ways this is more insidious because it affects millions of people."

Nearly half of U.S. workers in America report yelling and verbal abuse on the job, with roughly a quarter saying it has driven them to tears, research has shown.

Other research showed one-sixth of workers reported anger at work has led to property damage, while a tenth reported physical violence and fear their workplace might not be safe.

"It's a total disaster," said Anna Maravelas, author of "How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress." "Rudeness, impatience, people being angry -- we used to do that kind of stuff at home but at work, we were professional. Now it's almost becoming trendy to do it at work.

"It was something we did behind closed doors," she said. "Now people are losing their sense of embarrassment over it."

Contemporary pressures such as rising fuel costs fan the flames, said John Challenger, head of Chicago's Challenger, Gray & Christmas workplace consultants.

"People are coming to work after a long commute, sitting in traffic watching their discretionary income burn up. They're ready for a fight or just really upset," he said.

Added to that, he said, are financially strapped workers having to cut back on paying for personal pastimes that might serve as an antidote to work pressures.

LET OFF STEAM

"That means people come into work after a weekend and they haven't been able to let off any steam," he said.

Spector said his research has found 2 percent to 3 percent of people admit to pushing, slapping or hitting someone at work. With roughly 100 million people in the U.S. work force, he said, that's as many as 3 million people.

Maravelas said she conducted a seminar this week in rural Iowa, where she asked participants if they thought anger was increasing at their workplace.

Everyone raised their hands, she said, which is typically the response she gets. She cited research showing 88 percent of U.S. employees think incivility is rising at work.

"Many of us sense we're losing ground economically and socially. The safety net is unraveling. Hence, anxiety and unease are skyrocketing," she said.

People reassure themselves by blaming others and "find comfort in believing their suffering is caused by a callous, incompetent or selfish organization, leader, supplier, union or regulatory body," she said.

The worst offenders are overachievers, said Rachelle Canter, a workplace expert and social psychologist. "The usual profile is Type A, really, really smart, with impossibly high standards they set for themselves as well as for other people.

"They are so invested, I would say maybe over-invested, in success and in everyone being every bit as driven as they are that they just lose their sense of perspective, and they can lash out at other people," said Canter, author of "Make the Right Career Move."

But desk rage extends across industry and class lines, from top white-collar jobs to gritty blue-collar work, and companies pay dearly in terms of lost productivity, sagging morale and higher absenteeism, Spector said.

The worst cases end in violence, he said.

"Somebody didn't just come to work one day and shoot somebody," Spector said. "There's probably been a pattern of less extreme behaviors leading up to it."

(Editing by Michelle Nichols and Bill Trott)

© Thomson Reuters 2008 All rights reserved

Ways to Reduce Job Stress

Inner Peace on the Job: 7 Ways to Minimize Stress
Although it is not possible to eliminate stress completely, there are some things we can do to reduce it. Here are effective ways to reduce stress in your day.

1. Slow down and be in the present. It is natural to believe that the harder you work, the more you will get done. However, though it may seem paradoxical, if you work at a slow and steady pace with full awareness, you will most likely turn out better work with fewer mistakes - and feel better while doing it!

2. Set boundaries. Are you the go-to person for every favor and question that is needed in your workplace? Learn to respectfully set your boundaries and say no. Also, take a look at your calendar and make sure you are not over-scheduling yourself after work. Write in one night a week for yourself, and treat yourself to a tai chi or meditation class, a bath, or just an evening curled up with a good book.

3. Remember to breathe deeply all day. Most people who are under a lot of stress or tension breathe shallowly, up in the throat area. When you breathe deeply into your lungs, you are naturally bringing in more oxygen and activating energy in your body.

Try this to remember to breathe: set your intention to take 10 deep breaths once every hour. (If necessary, set a timer to help you remember.) It will only take a minute, but the rewards will be tenfold.

4. Bring nature inside. As much as possible, let natural light and fresh air permeate your workspace. Surround yourself with the inspiring colors of beautiful flowers, which have a powerful influence on a person's mind-set. A beautiful bouquet can lift a less-than-lovely mood and even eliminate stress. In fact, one study showed that people who sat next to an arrangement of colorful flowers were able to relax more during a five-minute typing assignment than those who sat near foliage-only plants.

5. Give yourself a time-out. Take the breaks that are given to you. In this high-paced world, people often work through their breaks, claiming they have too much work to do - this will lead to serious repercussions in the future.

Remember that you are a human, not a machine. Even a machine needs downtime for maintenance! Try taking a 15-minute powernap on your lunch break. If you only have five minutes to spare, just close your eyes. Even this brief rest can reduce stress and help you relax.

6. Meditation brings relaxation. Meditation gives your body a rest and produces slower brain waves that are similar to sleep, effectively combating tension. Regular practice of meditation, tai chi, or yoga can help you slow down and bring peace, not only in your job, but also in your life. To learn more about how to use meditation to decrease stress, click here.

7. Perk up naturally!
Skip the second latte, which stimulates your central nervous system, makes your mind race, and adds to your stress. Instead, try these simple and natural pick-me-ups:

• Take a tea break. Instead of coffee, go for teas that gently boost your energy, such as ginseng, eucalyptus, or ginger.

• Find ways to keep moving all day. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Drink a glass of water from the water cooler every hour. Park your car a few blocks away from where you're going. Not only will this perk up your energy, it will also improve your mood.

• If it's a nice day outside, eat lunch outdoors or just take a walk around the block. The fresh air and the break from routine will be an invigorating addition to your workday.

• Get sustainable energy with snacks. Eat a snack at mid-morning and another one at mid-afternoon consisting of nuts, seeds, fruits, or protein-rich foods like humus made from beans will help you sustain your energy and prevent low blood sugar from setting in.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

Bonuses That Backfire

Greetings fellow schmucks!

Tomorrow is the second payday in March, which means it's time to receive my 2007 bonus.  Don't get me wrong, because I find it to be quite useful, I like money so, I'm certainly not complaining.  This year's bonuses for most business units at MyCompany, including mine, are rumored to be very good, on the upper-end since most goals were exceeded.
The problem I have is the way in which the fools I work for manage (or, more accurately, FAIL TO MANAGE) the process.  Their failure at the process results in the bonus event, which should be a morale booster and motivator, actually end up lowering overall morale and DEmotivating the troops.

Signs of A Miserable Job

The Three Signs of a Miserable Job by Patrick Lencioni (Wiley, 2007)

Three signs of a miserable job...

1. You circle the Starbucks drive thru twice on Monday mornings to delay starting your workday (and to feed the caffeine addiction that helps you survive).
2. Your mobile phone's ringtone is Loverboy's "Everybody's Working for the Weekend."
3. At 5:00 pm each Friday, you shoot off fireworks to celebrate your weekend independence.

While the symptoms of workplace discontent express themselves in a variety of ways, Patrick Lencioni spells out three universal origins of job dissatisfaction in his newest title, The Three Signs of a Miserable Job.

Sticking to his modus operandi, Lencioni tells a fable to illustrate his ideas. The central character of his story is recently retired CEO, Brian Bailey. After piloting JMJ Fitness Machines into a lucrative buyout from an industry leader, Brian has earned himself a leisurely retirement alongside his wife, Leslie. However, Brian's relaxation is cut short when he hears about shifts in JMJ's workplace wrought by its buyers. The culture he spent nearly two decades carefully creating is being demolished.

 

While brooding about the unfortunate changes in his former company, Brian gets the itch to be back in management. In need of a challenge, he becomes co-owner of a run-down Italian restaurant, Gene and Joe's, near his home. Having dined at the restaurant, Brian has seen firsthand the disinterest of its workers, and he resolves to make Gene and Joe's a place where employees look forward to their work.

At first, Brian's pet management project is a bit bumpy, but soon he begins to turn around morale at Gene and Joe's. To spark changes inside the restaurant, he puts in place measurements whereby the employees can gauge their performance. He also takes special care to remind each employee of the difference they are making in the day of a customer or co-worker. Finally, he goes out of his way to learn about his employees at a personal level. As a result, the employees, formerly accustomed to surviving their work shifts, actually begin to enjoy their jobs.

Framed as a conversation between Brian and his wife, pages 128-144 set out Lencioni's philosophy of management. During the course of the dialogue, the three signs of a miserable job surface.

1. Immeasurement: "Employees need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves."
2. Irrelevance: "Everyone needs to know their work matters to someone."
3. Anonymity: "People cannot be fulfilled in their work if they are not known."

The three signs are summarized again by Lencioni on pages 221 and 222, and he advises managers on how to avoid them in the book's closing chapters.

Lencioni's story is well written, but it has only marginal entertainment value. However, by putting his philosophies into a fable, Lencioni makes The Three Signs of a Miserable Job far more memorable than the usual business text. Weeks after reading a book by Lencioni, it's easy to recall the central ideas by conjuring up his characters and storylines.

The Three Signs of a Miserable Job is a simple, yet profound book addressing the root causes of workplace malcontent. It is highly recommended reading for any LW subscriber in a management position. Readers will find that the book can be digested quickly and easily, and they will be able to draw from Lencioni's uncomplicated approach to purposeful management.

 

Ethics - put a checkmark down

Yesterday, everyone in my department participated in required ethics training.  It's training which everyone in the company must take.  I suspect we're not unlike most other large corporations who have an ethics policy articulating a plethora of rules and guidlines all employees must follow in order to keep the company out of hot water with the vast number of outside parties keeping a watchful eye on us.  The policy also covers items pertaining to how employees are to treat each other.

I'm not saying all of this ethics stuff isn't needed, I just resent the fact that i know of many folks in management - my boss included - who don't take it to heart.  They do not practice what they preach; they fail to set good examples. 

Furthermore, the underlying impetus for the ethics training I just took seemed to be an edict that came down mandating the training to take place, which resulted in the mission being simplified to a "get 'er done".  It seemed more important to get the training scheduled and completed so that some sorry dweeb in the training department could check off the completion box on his to-do list.

Ethics and business conduct is important and should be taken to heart!

A funny, yet sad story:  Within one hour of completing the training, Ms. Gruff mistreated a fellow employee, to the point where the employee shed tears when she later in the afternoon recounted the poor tone of voice and words Gruff used with her.  And, within two hours of completing training, Gruff LEFT work early AGAIN!

Yep, I suppose we sure accomplished the underlying goal of checking off the box indicating ethics training is complete.  HOWEVER, was the real intent accomplished -  to have employees conduct themselves ethically and with good conduct?

Fool vs. Jerk - Whom Best to Hire?

Here's a summary and link to a Harvard Business Review Article:

Executive Summary:You are the hiring manager with a nasty decision to make. Would you hire the lovable fool or the competent jerk? This Harvard Business Review excerpt suggests that the decision is complicated. By HBS professor Tiziana Casciaro and Duke University’s Miguel Sousa Lobo.

http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/4916.html

Happy New Year... a message of hope

Here's to a Happy New Year to all!

Let's all agree to an achievable New Year's resolution, that 2008 will be a year of change at work for us in a positive direction!  I can tell you from personal experience that it is possible.  If you're faced with an intolerable boss, responsibilities you can't stand, or whatever work situation which makes your life miserable, things can change; this is the good news!  Chances are though that YOU will have to take responsibility for initiating the change.  Don't just sit there and be miserable; do something to change your situation!

I know from my own experience that change in the right direction is possible.  In fact, actions I took about eight months ago last Spring resulted in some positive changes in my situation at work and, now, the crap level caused by my boss, Ms. Gruff, is significantly lower than before.  Let me briefly review for you what took place.

As I've described in earlier posts, Ms. Gruff is a control freak and tends to give folks on her "team" crap just for the sake of giving them crap.  Actually my theory is Ms. Gruff is very insecure in her own abilities (rightly so!); so, I figure the crap she dishes out is her way of reminding her underlings that she's in charge.  An example of the crap she dishes out is questioning people on whether they put in a full 8 hour day (when she herself is chronically late and leaves early).  Last Spring, the situation came to a head for me, after I had been out of the office one morning interviewing for another job within the company.  Ms. Gruff gave me crap by sending me an email in which she played dumb, pretending she didn't know where I was.  Being in the company so many years, I knew HR's policy was to notify my current supervisor upon being selected for an interview.  For that reason, I did not notify Gruff of the interview, knowing HR would.  Also, I had been on several other internal interviews and had not notified Gruff of any.

Gruff sent me an email in which she played dumb and questioned where I was.  I replied back to inform her what I knew she already knew, that I was interviewing.  She replied and harshly told me I should have informed her.  I called HR, who confirmed Gruff had been notified in advance of the interview.  I also learned the interviewing supervisor both called and emailed Gruff in advance.  Yes, it was clear that Gruff was just giving me crap to give me crap!

I called a meeting with Gruff's boss and informed him of the series of events and told him, "this stuff must stop or I am taking the situation to HR".  It helped my case that I had everything documented - the emails between Gruff and I, in addition to emails between me and HR and the person who interviewed me.

The happy conclusion to the story is that apparently Ms. Gruff's boss did have a chat with her and, as I said, the level of crap from Gruff is way down, nearly zero in fact.  Moral of the story:   If you're faced with an intolerable boss, responsibilities you can't stand, or another work situation which makes your life miserable, things can change.  But again, you will likely have to initiate the change, as I did.

Job Satisfaction Delines in the U.S. (well, duhhh!!!)

Here 's a report I discovered on The Conference Board's Website: http://www.conference-board.org/e/detail.cfm?pressid=1257&utm_source=direct&utm_medium=email&utm_content=us&utm_campaign=emailexpress